Since its first dodgeball was thrown, the Eagle Rock Yacht Club has steadfast by the expression “don’t be a dick”

More than just a simple slogan or motto, it’s our Golden Rule, Declaration of Independence, and Ten Commandments all rolled into one. We deal with dicks everyday in our non-dodgeball lives, from the seemingly oblivious grocery store line-cutter to the loudest-honking freeway speedster, and sometimes even straddle the dick-line ourselves. Though for the short time every week when we gather to run around a rec center and throw rubber balls at each other, there are no dicks allowed. Leave your dickishness at the door. Vamonos, el dicko.

What qualifies a person as being a dick anyway? Of course, the forceful flinger who manages to blast every face on the opposing team with a single dodgeball and no apology is clearly the dictionary definition of a dick. But there’s subtle dickery afoot as well. For instance, it’s possible to let someone know a ball grazed their shoulder without instigating a cross-court shouting fest, right?

But don’t get us wrong, all of this dick talk Should in no way threaten or hinder the competitive spirit. However, the cocky swagger of an aggressive pro dodgeballer shouldn’t impress anyone in the Yacht Club. After all, when all is said and done we’re still playing a children’s game here, we aren’t curing diseases with every catch, and nuclear weapons won’t go off if we lose, and we’ve moved past their level of maturity where it’s acceptable to use words like “dick.”

If there’s ever a question as to how to handle a dispute during dodgeball, remember that, at the end of the day, it’s only dodgeball.

So whether it be on the court, in the car or at a business meeting, keep calm, let the trivial stuff slide, and, you guessed it, don’t be a dick.